Scott's Silly Answers

What is the will of God?

For some, this is the ultimate question. People would pay a fortune to know and be a part of the will of God. What these people fail to realise is God is never going to die! So what does it matter what’s in God’s will? However, if God were to die, just to satisfy the askee, this is what God would leave to his children:

• 144⁷ “Instant Galaxy Mix” sachets
• 77,7¹² pallet loads of “Gravity in a Box”
• 70⁷ KWs of “Lightning in a Can”
• 7¹² “Let there be Light”^TM bulbs of various apparent
magnitudes
• One giant “Heaven Army Knife”—recently sharpened
• 12⁷ kilometres of aluminium foil
• 12,¹⁴⁴ tons of gold pavers
• The only copy of the billion-page Book Of Life (made out of
100 per cent recycled paper)
• The entire collection of Weet-Bix collector card sets
• A BMW M12
• 2324 robes of light
• 4648 slippers of light
• The complete Gaither Homecoming HeavenRay-disk collection
• The number 42
• Seven never-been-used, gold plated, monogrammed
hankies
• Three “always existed” certificates
• A 12-player foosball table
• 40⁴⁰ angels at command
• 12 “holiday” universes
• Heaven (complete with BIW’s and LUG)
• One manna fondue set

1. You must remember to pick up earth’s humans, give them an extreme makeover and bring them home to heaven.
2. You must later relocate them back to earth, after giving earth a serious Backyard Blitz, and house them—happily ever after.
3. Run all the other universes
4. Tell a children’s story once a quarter.

Interesting Fact: None of God’s assets are covered by insurance if damaged by Himself.