Sharing House

I’m about to move out from my parents into my own place. I will be sharing a house with a friend I met at university. We are only new friends and neither of us has lived out of home before. What advice can you give me to be a good flatmate?

It’s exciting to be moving out of home and establishing some independence. With this, however, can be some difficult times if you do not establish some specific ground rules with your new flatmate.

Areas of interest that can turn a happy flatting relationship into a disaster include finances, distribution of resources, social activities, cleaning, security and other friends. Let’s look briefly at each of these areas:

> Finances. When I speak to young people about moving out, this area is always dramatically under-calculated. Rent and food are always considered, but then there are the daily expenses, petrol, home phone, mobile and social activities. It is so important to have a clear understanding of what you are responsible for and when it needs to be paid.

> Resources. Do you buy your food and toiletries together or do you do it individually? How is this going to be fairly achieved? Arguments can happen over using up each other’s milk! Be aware of the small things.

> Social activities. It is best not to live in each other’s pockets. In other words, share a house, not a life. You do not have to do everything together or invite each other everywhere you go.

> Cleaning. There is nothing worse if you are a clean person and your flatmate lives in a pigsty. You need to look at some general rules for the common areas and have a roster for cleaning so that it is not left to the same person.

> Security. Make sure both of you respect the need for security and always lock up. Don’t assume the other person will do it. Never give your keys to someone else to use without your flatmate knowing.

> Other friends. This includes people staying over, taking liberty with food and phone and not respecting the guidelines you and your flatmate follow. The boundaries in this area need to be made really clear.

As you can see, flatting with someone isn’t just about getting out of the family home and having some fun. It calls for maturity, responsibility and clear boundaries. Not to mention money! The essence of a good flatting relationship is communication. If an issue arises, make the communication clear, quick (don’t let the issue fester), gentle and respectful.

This will give the issue little chance of destroying your relationship. Make sure you are living up to your end of the bargain before criticising your flatmate.
Don’t gossip to other friends; keep your business between the two of you. Privacy when desired is essential, along with respect of each other’s property.
If you follow these simple guidelines and discuss things before moving in, you should be able to have a great time together. Have fun and good luck.