Peer Pressure

Q> The school formal and schoolies week are coming up.There are some things I don’t want to take part in, but when I get wrapped up in what the group is doing I find it hard to distance myself. Any ideas would be great.—Drew

A> You’re right, Drew. There can be a lot of pressure to do the “in thing” and follow the crowd. The bottom line is taking responsibility for your own actions and planning ahead. Here are some tips for the big events.

100% responsibility rule: Whether we like it or not we are 100% responsible for our own actions and the decisions we make. Do not let the peer pressure you feel determine your life for you.

Comparing ourselves: When we compare ourselves with others we can miss the great things we already have. We need to remember that everyone’s goals and needs are different and that is OK.

Have a plan: Stop explaining your life to others. Be confident in decisions you make. Create sentences you can use to assist you in making choices. This will help empower you when you feel pressured to take part in something you do not want to. For example, if you’re pressured to drink during schoolies week you could say, “Thanks for the invite to hang out, but I’m not interested in a hangover in the morning as I would like to go hiking tomorrow.”
If you feel pressured to pay toward a limousine you could say, “That sounds great, but I’m saving toward getting my own wheels and that money pays for my tyres.” If you anticipate areas where you might be pressured, you can come up with sentences to assist you in looking cool, but confident. It is when you are not confident that you can be easily swayed.

Have alternative options: If you don’t want to go out drinking, have a different party to go to. If you have these alternatives you’re less likely to give in to peer pressure. We give in only if we feel we look uncool. Having alternative plans is simply having more then one option.

Be assertive: What other people think about us is none of our business. Work out your boundaries, decide what is right for you and make a stand for it. People respect those who have their act together.
Things might be feeling pressured all around right now. You’re not only trying to survive the last months of school, but are making big decisions that affect the rest of your life. If you are wanting to be a Christian, with a good career, loving friends and have a fulfilling life, then hang around people who want the same goals. This way you assist each other in achieving these goals.