Bruce's Greatest Hits
What would I want to put on a greatest hits album?
 That thought crossed my mind the other day when I saw an advertisement for someone’s “greatest hits.”
When the Beatles brought out an album of number-1 hits a couple of years ago, it became the fastest selling album of all time. Every squillionth of a second someone somewhere in the world bought a copy of the CD (squillionth is a technical term that means less than a second and more than a nanosecond).
Then there was Elvis (see, he hasn’t left the building) and his number-1 hits. Big sellers!
Bruce’s greatest hits? A big seller? Hmmm.
What would I put on my greatest hits album? Singing would be out—all those who have stood next to me during the singing in church can now relax.
Maybe I could put on boxing gloves and make like a Kostya Tszyu.
Imagine the advertising: “Available now on DVD, Bruce’s greatest hits . . . pow!” Images of someone’s face hitting my glove would appear on the screen.
Let’s try those gloves: Lmkn sadf kj dcfmkldfas dsaf.
Oops, sorry. Keying into a computer while wearing boxing gloves doesn’t work.
Actually, boxing is out. For two reasons: In boxing, the other guy is allowed to hit you, and that could hurt. And attempting to reshape someone’s face and knock them to the ground doesn’t seem Christian.
Being Christian, how about an album of Bruce’s greatest hits for God? That could feature people helped, money given and prayers prayed. But I wonder if the adoring (ignoring?) public would want a follow-up of Bruce’s greatest hits for Satan, featuring people uncared for, money withheld and forgotten prayers?
Hmmm, again. I’m beginning to think that instead of dreaming of things like Bruce’s greatest hits for God, I need to focus on God’s greatest hit for Bruce—Jesus.
Besides, when Jesus took His greatest hits—on the cross—He took them for me . . . and you. And He didn’t turn it into something we have to buy. He offers life. It’s free and everlasting, and available at any squillionth of a second.
Anything on Bruce’s greatest hits can only be puny in comparison. That doesn’t mean I won’t be taking singing lessons, though.
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Bruce Manners (left) is senior pastor of
the Avondale College church.