Fat Chance

Bridget Jones battles with it. We all hated Ally Mcbeal, because she didn’t seem to
possess it. In fact, practically every female on the face of the earth seems to have some kind of problem with it. What is it? Well, the answer is weight!

We may disagree on whether Robbie Williams can actually sing. We may have debated furiously on whether Big Brother Uncut should be banned forever on TV because there is hardly any entertainment value, but one thing unites the female of the species—weight. Or rather, the need to have less of it.

Let’s face it, unless we happen to fall into the category of females who do not possess any body fat whatsoever and are blessed with a high metabolism, we all wish we could lose some weight.

It’s unfair how often the media reminds me that I need to be slim and therefore “beautiful.” I cannot read any entertainment magazine in peace without being told how a celebrity has "ballooned," how unattractive she now looks and how much worry she's causing her friends because she's suddenly decided to start eating. Even if I had no complex about my weight, reading magazines would give me one!

Why can’t I eat my Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice-cream without having a guilt trip?
Why can’t I buy a size 14 top without going into a panic attack?
Why can’t I go through a day without thinking that I should perhaps go on a diet?

I wonder sometimes how much of my desire to go on a diet stems from the fact that I’ve been virtually forced to do so.

“What, you’re not on a diet? That is amazing.” Friends would look at me in awe and comment, as if I had just told them I frequently play tennis with the Queen.

I walk into a pharmacy to get vitamins and wonder if I have stepped into a supermarket instead. Shelves of diet meals of all sorts, as well as numerous slimming ads hit me before I even realise what’s going on.
Every actress worth anything has either written a book on how to eat right and stay slim, or is endorsing a slimming centre that will provide guaranteed results—“just look at me!”

Worse still are the numerous new fad diets that spring out of nowhere every few weeks. Dieting has become the new fashion craze. If you’re not on a diet of sorts, be it a grapefruit diet, a soup diet or the world-renowned Atkins diet, it would seem that you’re some kind of freak.

Personally, I’m thankful I can never go on an Atkins diet. Animal rights somehow seem to overrule my uncontrollable urge to lose weight.

The heavy meat and fat eating can go out the window, thank you very much. I’m sticking to my animal-free food. Besides, I don’t really want to walk around permanently constipated with all that protein and no fibre!
Seriously, whatever happened to having a healthy balanced meal? No, let me rephrase that. Whatever happened to having a healthy balanced life?

We are all so used to quick results that we would do anything to lose weight in two weeks. But in the process, we deprive our bodies of much needed nutrients, kicking it into malnutrition or starvation mode with all sorts of strange diets. Sure, we lose the weight, but what else do we lose as well? Sanity. Happiness. A life without having to worry that eating a pea would throw our grapefruit diet out of sync.