Sibling Rivalry

THE ISSUE:

Dear God, You’re so amazing. Sorry for yelling at the dog—it wasn’t his fault the back door was open and it was muddy outside. Thank You for the sun—it’s nice and warm.

Now about my sibling—if you gave me my sibling to teach me patience I have learned, I’ll never be impatient again. Please take my sibling back! It star ted with the youngest daughter crying her eyes out all the way through the elder sister’s birthday party because she wasn’t getting presents, too. I t grew into “I bags the downstairs toilet!” and “I get the front seat!” and matured into “I’m going to be your maid of honour and am not doing a speech” and “Come and do the dishes!” Born two years and four days apart, the sisters were born rivals—the elder child (the more independent one) competing alone, dealing with it as it came. She needed to go to the toilet just as badly and, for now, had longer legs so she was going to use them while she could.

The younger, much more dependant child, solicited her mother for back up: “Mum! She’s hitting me!” “I haven’t even touched her!” I am sure it isn’t every day you feel like praying the above prayer (or living the same story) if you have a sibling. But somedays, siblings can drive you right up the wall. I should know—I have that little sister.

Although we have the same parents, and thus share a lot of genes and family “heirlooms,” we are very different people.

RESPONSE:

Some days it is really hard to acknowledge the differences in our siblings as positive things—especially when they clash with what we are doing. Psalm 139:14 sees David praising God because he was fearfully and wonderfully made. And as we know, God doesn’t mess up His projects.
He made each of us as special individuals. Sure, I have my mother ’s figure and red hair, and my sister got nanna’s figure and blonde hair but we both have dad’s blue eyes.

Living in close quar ters with a sibling that is so different and so similar at the same time can be really difficult. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of respect. You need to respect each other’s boundaries. If they don’t like you in their room, don’t go in without their permission. You need to be patient when they cross your boundaries, too.

Remember, the problem may not always be with your sibling.
If your sibling is going to a “higher authority” (parents) to ask permission to cross your boundaries, discuss the issue with your parents and ask them to support your boundaries.
Lastly, you need to be fair. Telling your older brother he can’t play with your football but letting your little sister play with it whenever she wants is likely to fuel more problems.
I am sure you have your reasons but the other party is likely to see it as favouritism. This rarely ends with a positive outcome for all involved.  

ACT:

> Remember, God made us all special and unique.
> Have patience when your siblings cross your boundaries and try to understand and respect their boundaries.
> Practice forgiveness.
> Play fair!
> Enjoy the positive aspects of your relationships with your siblings. You might want to kill them sometimes but there’s probably something you can find to love about them.

LINKS:

> www.ext.nodak.edu/extnews/pipeline/teen-6w. htm
> www.addresources.org/article_siblings_kane. php
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibling_rivalry
> http://parenting.ygoy.com/sibling-relationships