Sharing is caring?

Let’s talk gossip. Our society thrives on it. We have celebrity gossip, church gossip, friend gossip, female gossip and, of course, male gossip.

Each area of gossip is met with a unique style of delivery or approach, but because it’s “gossip” it shares some very simple similarities:

> Gossip is malicious
> Gossip is a sharing of someone else’s personal information
> Gossip is establishing our worth over someone else.

According to “The Rumor and Gossip Research,” 1 the purpose of gossip is to share and establish social boundaries. Without the constant bombardment of friends in primary and high school telling you about John who was caught picking his nose or Jane who was caught pulling out a wedgie in class, you might never know this was unacceptable public behaviour.

Of course, establishing social boundaries is a good thing, so is gossip really that bad? When I was in primary school I picked my teeth after lunch. It really bugged me if I got anything caught in my teeth. One day a good friend of mine came up to me just before lunch and she said, very sweetly, “I want to sit with you at lunch today, but can you not pick your teeth?” I wish I could have learned so many other social rules so easily.

Other social rules were established as I would hear friends snicker as they walked past. I’d hear snippets of conversations about my pink pants, red socks and bright yellow shirt. Apparently you aren’t cool unless the colours match.

I am no longer in high school.

Yet the gossip is still as petty. Like in high school, the gossip works to establish who is on top of the social or community structure.

In celebrity magazines, best and worst dressed are often featured.

The dress style, size, colour and cut are all heavily critiqued. The readers of the magazine are able to remind themselves that they have better dress sense than celebrities. In a small way, the common woman or man is still “better” than the celebrity.

In our churches we do this as well. We get together in groups and discuss the heresy of Jane’s theology and we critcise John’s potluck manners.

We whisper sentences that start with “Did you hear about . . . ?” And we work to make our own lives stand out as more pure or exciting or healthy than someone else’s. We put work into making sure others know how special we really are.

The truth is we’ve forgotten how special we are. Each of us has more worth than the most precious diamond. We are more unique than a snowfl ake and more rare than the dodo bird. Our worth is solely found in Christ. We don’t have to prove we are better in any way because that is not the point. We are precious. We are so precious that Christ paid for us with every drop of His blood.

Gossip is not an easy thing to stop. It sounds easy to simply say, “I’ll stop,” but the truth is that it is very diffi cult. Every day we must commit our ways to God and ask Him to help us evaluate the information we are about to share. Is the information shared going to establish our value in another’s eyes? Or remind us of our true worth in His eyes? 1. Ralph L Rosnow and Eric K Foster, http://www.apa.org/ science/psa/apr05gossip.html.

What’s the Bible got to say about gossip?

> “A gossip betrays a confi dence; so avoid a man who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19).*

> “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefi t those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

> “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).

> “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

> “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will perish” (Proverbs 19:9).

> “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house.

And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to” (1 Timothy 5:13).

> “Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fi re by a small spark” (James 3:5).

> “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28).

> “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

*Bible quotations are from the New International Version.