Ellen White? The early years

Pastor John Skrzypaszek provides an overview of Ellen White’s childhood journey from a freak injury at the age of nine to an amazing spiritual recovery.

Young Ellen Gould Harmon was cheerful, full of dreams and childhood expectations. At the tender age of nine, her journey of discovering life outside the security of her home was just about to begin. Free to watch and observe. Free to discover and learn. Free from worries and heartaches of life’s disappointments.

Free to capture her dreams. Like any other child, she waited to expand her knowledge by attending the school in Portland. This childhood world is so aptly described by Ernestine Northover: Our childhood was fi lled with thoughts of joy and gladness, We lived our lives, oblivious to the world And all the hardships, wars, the grief and sadness, We stood waiting for our lives to be unfurled.1 Suddenly, one day, her world turned upside down—a schoolmate threw a rock at her, which hit her in the face. Reminiscing about her freak misfortune, Ellen recognised its lasting impact as “an accident . . . which was to aff ect my whole life.”2 Disfi gured face, constant pain, times of depression, yet the most discouraging thought that touched her life came from her teachers, who advised her to give up studies until her health improved.

The emotional pain of broken dreams was real: “My ambition to become a scholar had been very great, and when I pondered over my disappointed hopes . . . I murmured against the providence of God.”3 In her words, “It was the hardest struggle of my young life to yield to my feebleness, and decide that I must leave my studies, and give up the hope of gaining an education.” 4 Stop for a moment! Think about it! What’s it like to step into the unknown, insecurity and failed dreams for which there are no easy answers or perhaps no answers at all? You know—we all have our emotional struggles with fear and insecurities. Can anyone understand unless they’ve been through it? Recalling her experience, Ellen said, “A lack of confi dence in myself, and a conviction that it would be impossible to make any one understand my feelings, prevented me from seeking advice and aid from my Christian friends.”5 At times like this, we long for genuine friends. Friends “who are intent not on fi guring out how to improve your life, but on being with you wherever your journey leads.”6 Even more, spiritual soul friends make space in their lives for others. Benner suggests that “making space or giving time is more demanding than giving advice, money or some other form of help.”7 Out of such relational bond spiritual soul friends “off er their gifts of presence, stillness, safety and life.”8 So the beginning of a spiritual journey is simply the beginning of a search for someone trustworthy, someone who can understand the depth of our emotional pain and frustrations.

Ellen White understood such struggles, for she wrote: “Had I opened my mind to my mother, she might have instructed, soothed, and encouraged me; but I concealed my troubled feelings from my family and friends, fearing that they could not understand me.”9 Well, what about Jesus? you ask. Interestingly, our insecurities impact the way we understand and experience Jesus’ presence and His love. Ellen speaks about her lost confi dence in Jesus’ love.

More so, “heaven seemed closed to me.”10 Have you ever felt like saying, “Hello, is anyone there? It’s dark and lonely out here! Can anyone hear and understand how I feel?” Yet painful struggles create a need, which can ignite sparkles of hope. No, it’s not a wild dream but human thirst to meet the real genuine presence of Jesus. Note how Ellen describes her spiritual thirst and longing for the genuine: “If Jesus were upon earth, I would go to Him, throw myself at His feet, and tell Him all my suff erings.

He would not turn away from me, He would have mercy upon me, and I would love and serve Him always.”11 In response, she had a dream in which she met Jesus. Here’s what she had to say about it: “In a moment I stood before Jesus. There was no mistaking that beautiful countenance. That expression of benevolence and majesty could belong to no other. As His gaze rested upon me, I knew at once that He was acquainted with every

circumstance of my life and all my inner thoughts and feelings.

. . . He . . . said, “Fear not.” . . . The loving eyes of Jesus were still upon me, and His smile fi lled my soul with gladness.” 12 Out of such a relational bond, spiritual soul friends “off er their gifts of presence, stillness, safety and life.” Jesus was her friend.

Meeting Him changed her life and, as Northover concludes: We had time to grow, and gain an understanding, Of each new phase, each change along the way, As we grew slowly, our senses all expanding, So with clarity, we slowly changed our play.

For as Ellen said, “This dream gave me hope.” Life’s journey with such a friend means deliverance from our fears, and it’s a journey that leaves us changed forever.

1. Ernestine Northover, Childhood—the 21st Century.
2. Ellen White, Life Sketches of Ellen G White, Pacifi c Press, Mountain View, California, 1943, page 17.
3. Ellen White, Testimonies for the Church, Vol 1, Pacifi c Press, Mountain View, California, 1948, page 13.
4. Life Sketches of Ellen G White , op cit, page 19.
5. ibid, page 21.
6. Larry Crabb, The Safest Place on Earth: Where People Connect and Are Forever Changed, Word Publishing, Nashville, Tennessee, 1999, page 19.
7. David Benner, Sacred Companions: The Gift of Spiritual Friendship and Direction, IntervarsityPress, Downers Grove, Illinois, 2002, page 46.
8. ibid, page 47.
9. Ellen White, Testimonies for the Church, Vol 1, ibid.
10. ibid.
11. ibid, page 28.
12. ibid, page 29.